All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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