I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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