he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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