Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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