I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
