The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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