ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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