i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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