I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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