I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
