Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
