I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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