Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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