he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
