You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
