Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize