I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
