I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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