Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
