dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
