We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
