Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
