Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
