i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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