Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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