Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
