He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
