wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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