I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
