Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
