I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
