Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
