Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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