after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
