Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
