i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I touched a dick in church today
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
