and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
