What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize