do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
