I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
