I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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