I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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