You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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