Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
