hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I believe in your delicious
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
