Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
