I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Randomize
