"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
