I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize