I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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