she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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