No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
