she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
