Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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