What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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