there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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