You're so nebulous sometimes
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want to make a zoo with you.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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