They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
