Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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