You smell like stripper and shame
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
