Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
