Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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