Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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