just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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