I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize