you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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