I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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